Parenting is one of the most challenging endeavour individuals can think of venturing into. Parenting is synonymous with sacrifice. I am of the view that potential parents should intentionally prepare for parenting because most individuals ‘fail’ in parenting because they think that the skill of parenting comes naturally with the father/mother status which is flawed. I have heard some fathers and mothers say ‘I was not ready when I/we had you (the child)’ and trust me, both the legally married & the unmarried say this.
Factors contributive to bad parenting are; immaturity, irresponsibility, youthful exuberance, lack of time management, drug addiction, ignorance, et al. Parenting is a skillset that potential parents need to learn. You may ask how is it possible for one to learn a skill one is yet to actively apply? The answer to this question is the same answer to the question of ‘why do we get educated for several years when we would be actively applying that education in a much later time in our lives?’.
Realistically, I am knowledgeable of the fact that there are no hard and fast rules to healthy parenting, but there are several basic acquisitions that are instrumental to healthy parenting. Suffice me to say that parenting is not effortless, it involves a lot of effort, sometimes parenting cannot be fun but you need discipline to carry on. Humans and even children are very unique, parents need all the wisdom they can muster to manage this uniqueness.
Summarily, I wouldn’t turn a blind eye to unforeseen circumstances beyond control that can influence one’s parenting skills-circumstances like divorce, demise of spouse, abusive marriage and others. I must admit that it takes a high level of discipline and grace to apply your skill in events as such. One is at a crossroads as to whether to pick on parents affected by these events if they fail at parenting or just give them a safe landing.